


Lost Boys Like Me

by SecretlyIrish



Series: Lost Boys Like Me, You, Us [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Abuse, Depression, Everyone Needs Hugs, Flashbacks, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Keith needs a hug, Multi, Not for the light of heart, PTSD, Polyamory, Polydins, Reaaaally slow burn, Slow Burn, So does James, and Krolia, and shiro, eventual happy-ish ending, keith has some issues, non descriptive non-con, self harm allusions, things get better I promise
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-10
Updated: 2018-09-13
Packaged: 2019-07-10 19:20:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15955832
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SecretlyIrish/pseuds/SecretlyIrish
Summary: Keith's had a hard life. He's lost, and doesn't know how he's supposed to get out of the darkness in his own head.Shiro's family is dead, long dead. He lives on his own at seventeen, and is just trying to get by.James's family is homophobic, and abusive. How can he learn to accept himself when everyone around him is saying that he's a freak, a monster?Eventually they'll fall into each-other's gravity, drawn by the shared pain in their hearts.Keith's point of view.





	1. 첫번째 노래

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Edited on 15/09/2018 to add illustration

 

_**Before you start reading, please note that this fic  will contain abuse, ptsd, allusions to non-con, flashbacks, possibly even flashbacks to the non-con (I am undecided), and un-sugarcoated, unromanticized descriptions of post traumatic stress disorder, self harm, etc. This fic has a lot of heavy elements, even though I try to keep it balanced by spreading out the pain. It will also contain certain slurs, because people are assholes. If you start to feel like this fic is overwhelming you, please don't keep reading. I would rather you be safe than read my writing.** _

 

_**It will also contain some sex later on. It won't be graphic, but it will be there. Eventually. Probably.** _

 

_**Additionally, if anyone would like to beta or draw images for each chapter, please do! I'll try to draw a picture for every chapter myself, but  that could take a lot of time, and if you end up drawing a different scene than I did, there could be more than one image, which would honestly be a lot of fun! Not that there's too much 'fun' in this story...** _

 

After his _Appa_ passed away, Keith moved in with his mother, a woman named Krolia. Krolia had hesitated to take him in due to how dangerous her work was, and how little pay it offered, but she wasn't about to let Keith go to the foster system. The funeral was the first day that Keith had seen his _Eomma_ since he was three months old. He knew it was her right away, though. She had the same dark eyes as his, the same build, nearly identical facial structure- definitely his _Eomma_.

He had stormed up to her, face scrunched up to push back tears, and shouted. How dare she show up now? Now, when it was too late for them to be a real family? Now when _Appa_ was gone, and couldn't see her again like he always promised he would? Maybe if she was there, she could've stopped him from going back into that damned building! Maybe if she was there, maybe if, maybe if... Maybe if Keith had been strong enough.

He broke down, and his _Eomma_ held him gently. She wasn't mad at him for shouting, she wasn't mad at him for hurting. Not like _Appa_ sometimes got. He'd been so good at not crying, too. But it hurt so much, so, so much. _Appa_ was probably mad at him, but he was gone. What did it matter? What did anything matter? He wasn't even ten, but he had already learnt a lesson- no matter how much someone promises to always be there for you, they'll leave eventually.

"I'm so sorry, _dalkomhan ai_ ," she whispered, rubbing his back in gentle circles. Her eyes were not dry either, how could they be? Her child was in severe distress, and there wasn't anything she could do to help it. Her only lover had died, and, despite his faults, she did love him. She wished he had kicked his drinking habit sooner, so she could come back and feel safe, so their son would be safe.

But it was already too late for that.

**고독한**

 

When Keith was sixteen, he and his _Eomma_ finally moved into an actual house. They wouldn't have been able to afford it on their own, but Antok and Kolivan- two of Krolia's coworkers- had wanted to live in a proper house too. So here they were, in a run down shack of a house that had two bedrooms, a bathroom the size of a closet, a tiny kitchen, and the world's most pathetic living room- complete with mismatched furniture that would've been considered outdated in the 60's. Keith loved it.

The three adults had insisted that Keith get a room of his own, especially with him being a teenager- though he suspected there was another reason for it as well- and had been encouraged to decorate it however he wished. He was even allowed to paint it, something he had practically screamed in excitement over. He'd never really had somewhere that was his, and his alone. He ended up just taking the acryllics that his _Eomma_ and Kolivan had gotten him for his birthday. They were really nice, and he was always super nervous to use them, but he just felt like now was the time.

By the time he was done, his room looked exactly like the view out the window to the desert from his very first home. That was the second time he'd ever seen his _Eomma_ cry, and he started to cry too.

How could he not? His _Eomma_ had always been strong and calm. She never showed pain or fear, just an eerie calm or anger.

"I'm so proud of you," she whispered, much to his surprise, "You must miss that place a lot, but you've never once complained. You're such a strong soul, my child." Keith just stared in shock. What else was he meant to do? What else could he say? How was he supposed to tell her that she was wrong. He wasn't strong.

There was a lot she didn't know about. She didn't know about the biting silver edges that painted the canvases on his arms in a brilliant red. She didn't know the pain he wouldn't speak of, the nightmares.

He just couldn't tell her how broken, how lonely, how lost he was.

 

**고독한**

 

His first day back at school was rough. He wasn't nearly as polished as most of the kids there, his hair was cut roughly, just enough to keep it out of his eyes, he shoes were dirty and worn, and he called his mother  _Eomma_ , not 'Mom'. He was stuck with names like 'Mullet', 'hot-head', 'K-pop', and 'Slanty', just to name a few. He tended to punch them in the face if they called him the last one. Which was probably how he got the name 'hot-head' in the first place. He'd managed to punch three people by the end of the day, and landed in detention for it. Great. 

 

 

 

One of those people had been James Griffin, who hadn't called him a name like that. No, he'd said something about his father that Keith couldn't bear to repeat. It felt really good to hit him in the face. Kids said he looked like some sort of monster. That didn't stop Griffin from waltzing into the detention room with an actual  _pie_. "What the fuck?" was all Keith could manage. 

 

"The principle explained your situation and... I had no idea," he said, scuffing his shoes on the floor, "So I went home and made you something. I uhm, I don't expect you to forgive me or anything, but.... Y'know, I don't want to just leave everything like that."

 

"It doesn't smell half bad," Keith admitted, shrugging and moving his shit off the seat so Griffin could sit if he wanted to, "Sit if you want. I'm bored anyway."

 

He wasn't lying. Detention was the most boring thing he'd ever been stuck in, "That and the doors locked from this side. You're stuck in here too now."

 

"Shit," Griffin muttered, sitting next to Keith before he started laughing, "The first time I get stuck in detention, it's not even because I'm in trouble."

 

"Oh," Keith rumbled, trying not to show any form of amusement. So, despite his dickish words, Griffin was a goody-goody, and he was trying to befriend  _Keith_. This would be fun to watch, even though he knew Griffin would never succeed. He didn't really do friends, they'd always stab you in the back at the end of the day, or leave you. He wasn't about to go through that again, but it would be amusing to watch in the meantime. 

 

"Oh, hush, Kogane," Griffin said, pouting like a sad puppy. Keith couldn't help but laugh.

 

He hadn't laughed like that in a long time. Maybe he'd keep Griffin just for the faces he pulled. 


	2. His R?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith meets Shiro on the rooftop of the school. It's implied that James met Shiro up there earlier.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW for this chapter: SUICIDAL THOUGHTS  
> I also have quite the interest in Hanakotoba / The language of Flowers.   
> Other notes, I was listening to this while I wrote this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AOV2c0TiPpI

Despite having left detention a week earlier with a good mood, Keith still found himself walking to the roof.  _I just want to get some air_ , he tells the universe, lying through his teeth,  _it has nothing to do with the things that they say about me. Nothing to do with the way they push me around, spit in my face, laugh at every mistake. **I just want to be free.**_  

 

He opened the door to the roof, heart rate picking up. Finally, he was up. He could fly away from everything that hurt. Every harsh word, every slap, every scar from his  _Appa_ that he said came from running into walls or falling on glass. The sun was setting now, he'd just gotten out of detention again. He took another step towards the edge, wanting to see the brush-strokes of orange and red a little closer. Reaching down, he started to take off his shoes,  _I just want to feel the concrete on my feet_ , he lies. 

 

"Hey, wait-" another voice, not his.  _I can't believe someone got here before me._ Keith turned around, eyes scrunched and watering slightly. He'd been caught. 

 

The voice came from a person with a scar across his face, it looked like it'd hurt. His hair also had a shock of white, and his silver eyes had deep bags beneath them. He could see himself in the reflection of those eyes- a dark figure against a painted sunset, just inches away from flying.

 

"Please, don't do it," he said, softly, reaching a hand out gently. 

 

Keith inhaled softly and whispered, "I wasn't going to."

 

"That's a lie, and you know it," he said softly, "And you're not the first today to come with those lies."

 

The hand then pulled Keith away from the ledge, and into a gentle hug. Keith was silently crying, aside from his fragile words that shattered in the wind, "You don't know me. Why do you care?"

 

"Because someone once pulled me away from that ledge," he whispered back, "And things got so much better for me after that, and everyone deserves a chance to be happy. I just wish that someone had done the same for him."

 

"I... I'm sorry," Keith ended up saying, not sure how else to respond. The other let him go, and he put his shoes back on for another day, "You've probably heard it all before. But no one here likes me, they throw their words like knives, then when I get home everyone is too busy to really talk to me. I know they can't help it, but. . . I don't have anyone to live for anymore."

 

"Then live for me. Let's be friends, my name is Shiro. I live on Heath street," Shiro said, smiling softly. That's when Keith noticed the blooming Yellow Geraniums behind Shiro.

 

"I... I'm Keith, I live on Lavender Street," Keith said, offering a half smile back at Shiro. He wouldn't let Shiro in, but he couldn't just jump with someone watching. He'd just have to wait another day, "I'm hungry, so  I think I'll go home for now." 

 

And so the next several weeks went, Keith would start to take off his shoes, then Shiro would stop him. He learned many things about Shiro in that time. He lived alone, and had a cat named Kuro. Kuro was a large, fluffy thing that would rather silently observe than anything, and was Shiro's favourite family member. He used to have a little brother named Ryou, who died. Shiro's smile which once seemed bright was actually hiding so much melancholy that Keith wanted to cry. 

 

Wait, what did he just say? When did he start to care? 

 

**고독한**

 

 Eventually he stopped trying to take off his shoes, instead going up just to talk to Shiro. It had been a long time since someone managed to nudge their way into his heart like that. But this time there was someone different. They had short, brown hair, and a tall, but wiry frame. They were pale as porcelain, and were taking off their shoes. 

 

Then Keith said something he hadn't expected he would, "Hey! Don't do it please!" The other froze, but didn't turn around.

 

"Why should I stay? May family hates me. Every time that I go home, there's a new scar on my back. I just want them to stop, ever since they found out what I was..." an all too familiar voice said.  _James_.

 

Something in Keith's chest shattered. The boy who had smiled and brought him a pie, that was the teacher's pet, who sat four seats down and two across from Keith in Mathematics, the boy who once cried because he got a 95 on a test. He had spoken as if his parents were going to beat him for a less than perfect score.  _Oh, God, they might have_ , Keith realized. Without even thinking, he wrapped his arms around James. 

 

"You don't have to live with them forever. You're almost out of there, once you're eighteen you can be free," Keith said, wondering where those words were even coming from. 

 

"Are you serious? You sound just like Shirogane, but he wasn't there in class today. I thought today would be the day I could finally be free," James said, puffing out his chest in false anger, but Keith could hear the hitch of tears in his voice.

 

"He did the same thing to me, you know," Keith said, softly, "Stopped me every single day. He gave me someone to keep going for, eventually."

 

"God, I'm a mess," James said, tears finally falling down his cheeks.

 

Ah, what to do? Keith wasn't good at people. That was Shrio's thing. But he had to try, after all. He pulled James closer, further from the ledge, and held him silently for a while. 

 

"You know, they found out I was bi. They think that I'm just confused, that I'll find a nice girl someday, that I'll forget about even thinking about other boys. But I told her that she was wrong, that I was in love with a boy, and she slapped me. Then my dad... God, he didn't hit me or anything, but the things he said to me... He even said I wasn't really his own kid. He's only ever called me 'it' after that. I don't want to go home ever again, I don't want to face them. It's not the first time they've hit me, though. They would do it if I didn't get perfect grades, if I broke something, if I tripped in the way, if I took too long, if I 'embarrassed them in public', every mistake. I don't want to be the teacher's pet, I don't want to be a perfect doll, but... What can I do?" James asked, voice as fragile as the petals of an orange blossom.

 

"You're almost out of there," Keith said as soft as he could, "And in the meantime you can crash at mine. Everyone at home is always really busy with work, they won't even notice. I can be your new family." What on earth was he even saying? When did he start to care about others again? 

 

Then James smiled as wide as wide can be, like the sun breaking through the clouds after weeks of rain. And Keith knew why he said that.


End file.
